Heartbroken families ordered to remove 'non-compliant' tributes from local cemetery

Families have been left heartbroken by a bureaucratic order to remove headstones, tributes and other keepsakes from loved ones' graves in a local cemetery. The cemetery board sent out letters last month, alerting custodians to a grave site audit, citing a need to keep memorial gardens and the cemetery "safe, tidy and fair for everyone".

The move has sparked backlash from locals, with a family's online petition to get the by-laws changed garnering almost 800 signatures. For one family, the order has been particularly distressing. When Denise Thornborough's daughter, Linda McDonald, died 13 years ago, she and her family could not afford a headstone, which can cost families up to $5,000.

Instead, they began leaving handmade items, crosses and an angel statue, to mark Linda's final resting place and to pay tribute to her and her legacy. However, ahead of the cemetery board deadline, heartbroken family members spent Tuesday night clearing the gravesite.

"I didn't even get close to it; I only glanced over, and it feels like it's just broken," Ms Thornborough said. "I just walked past, and you can see there's nothing there — it's just empty."

Linda's sister, Jaimie Jones, said the cost should not dictate how a family remembers their loved ones. "That's not what this is about. It's not what grief is about," she said.

The cemetery board chief executive, Kristy Constantine, said it was a state government authority, bound by laws and safety requirements. "We are responsible for every member of staff and every member of the public that comes to site," she said.

"If the headstones are unauthorised and they have items that can be broken or may cause detriment to the cemetery, to the cemetery workers and any members of the public … they have to be removed,"

Ms Constantine said the lawn cemetery, where Linda's grave was located, posed particular challenges for upkeep. She said they couldn't grant individual exemptions. "We have to use machinery, and we need to make sure that everybody is safe," she said.

Families, like Peter Trenerry's, are confused by the timing of the order. Mr Trenerry said the angel statue placed at his son's grave was an important part of how he and his wife grieved. "We didn't have much money at the time … so we wanted to do as good as we can," he said.

"So we got the angel. It was just perfect. It breaks your heart to see that after a few years, someone's come along and said: 'You've got to get rid of your son's grave.'"

Ms Constantine said the board understood the stress placed on loved ones. "It's not something that we do lightheartedly," she said. "But we need to make sure that everyone is compliant."